Checking Out!

Now we all what synonyms are, don't we? But let's introduce a new concept (after muck!), which is that of double synonyms. Something we were not taught during those grammar classes.

It's called Bi-synonyms. Bi-synonym is a combination of two words (used together in the same order) which have different meanings. This concept is best explained with an example.

Checking out could mean - Checking out a girl.
Checking out could also mean - Checking out from a hotel.

Now these two are clearly different things. You can check out a girl, get into a conversation, get lucky, and then check out in the morning; but these are clearly two different things.

Checking out is sometimes confused with sleeping around. People discuss ''who is checking out whom'' in the same breath as ''who is sleeping with whom'', but the fact of matter remains that everyone is checking out everyone, all the time - so the question is plain stupid.

So, this concept of Bi-synonyms is new for you. You missed it in Wren&Martin's bible of English Grammar. But your kids will read it in (M)artin-W(R)en&(P)anju, lovingly referred to as MRP in the English Literature and Grammar circles. Ofcourse MRP will come at a higher MRP.

Enjoy your copy of MRP over a Martini (in a tribute to Martin, who will be long dead).

Test Cricket vs IPL 20-20

I am not going to write anything dirty today. This will certainly disappoint my readers (yes, I have my share of them!) who are always on a lookout for classy porn.

Touching upon the hot cricket debate these days, as the name suggests, is also not the intention. I am just irritated at two categories of people, and wish that they die and go to hell***:

1. Those who understand cricket but think they know everything abut cricket.
2. Those who don't know J@#$%(anything) about cricket, but think they understand cricket.

Note: Please observe the reversal of verbs.
Note2: At one point of time, I was tempted to write herbs instead of verbs, but thats besides the point

The former argues that Test Cricket is real cricket, and IPL 20-20 is not cricket but raw entertainment. These people also go to the extent of saying that youngsters who perform at IPL 20-20 have little talent. Basically, they enjoy the slower version of the game too much to let it go.

The latter have recently started taking interest in watching IPL 20-20 cricket, and claim that taking interest in Test cricket is stupidity, and cricket in only fun in the new format. This is the category who are bored with the slow pace of Test Cricket.

I present my suggestions (based on recent medical advancements):

1. To the first category - there are drugs which make you think quick. Take two pills and IPL 20-20 will then have the best of both worlds.
2. To the second category - there are drugs whose side-effects include slowing down of process. Take two pills, and test cricket will then be as good as IPL 20-20.

Prolonged use of these medicines may cause ill effects, but what the hell. Both these kinds deserve to die anyway. Refer ***.
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A quick little-something/dessert for who could not relate to the post above:
Q. How many Sardar jokes are really there?
A. 2, at max 3. The rest of them are true stories.

Aging, or something like it...

Its 5:30 in the morning. The birds have started chirping. They'll soon be dropping turd all around. Pray, they don't understand the concept of weekends, Saturdays, sleeping late, or night-outs. They are dumb birds. And chidiya udh is a dumb game.

This night-out happened after a long time. Thanks to 'The Great Debaters' starring Denzyl Washington and Chivas Regal. Just like the good old times, the night-out did not tire me. I feel young. But unlike the good old times, I was careful while driving a friend back home a few minutes back. Guess we all become a little careful with age. Age does that horrible thing to us. Its not just the organic process of physical decay. The D in the G becomes mellow. Though, rest of it in the G remains yellow. Age is one damn thing which you get without putting in any bloody effort. It is one ugly thing, which goes on getting worse.

But then, I love to convince myself and others around that I am old now. Perfect excuse for laziness. My favorite lines start with 'saala is umar mein...'. I had a cute relationship manager at a stock brokerage firm who suggested a stock which would triple its value in one year. My response was, 'saala is umar mein hum harey kele (green bananas) nahin khareedte. I could never understand why she took offence.

Anyways, there is a brighter side to aging. I am told that the dating range increases as you grow older. For a 20 yr old, the dating range is 18-22. For a 30 year old, it is 20-40. How cool is that...

Before one gets judgmental, I am only 24 years, and 29 months. It helps being a little calculative.