Sunday, March 16, 2008

Three Englishmen

This is a story from old times. This is a story from November, 1981, New York - the month, the year but not the place, when/where I was born. Contrary to the title, this story is about three Americans. I chose this title because Englishmen sounded a little fancy. And English women....oh goodness, but wait - lets not even go there.

Francis Whitman, Peter Whitman and Jack Whitman - three American brothers who had not spoken to each other in a year set off on a train voyage across India with a plan to find themselves and bond with each other -- to become brothers again like they used to be. This is the story of their ''spiritual quest''.

Status when they were traveling through Punjab:
Peter and Jack loved each other. They hated Francis. Francis hated them. But they had made a promise to each other before the journey that they would be nice to each other. The promise was a ''kasam'', an oath (basically both). And it was no ordinary promise. It was called ''Reshma ki Jawani'' ki kasam. For Excingsh (exclusively English) speakers, it is Reshma's Youth. Reshma's youth is listed on all major stock exchanges (NASDAQ:REY). Get stock prices, stock quotes, charts, summarized market data, and company specific information at http://www.nasdaq.com/

So, in order to get along well, they would play Indian-Games like nadi-pahaad, vish-amrit, pakdam-pakdaayi, ice-pice, lukha-chuppi, sitoliya, dadi-maar-duchda, cross country (crossy), doctor-doctor, ghar-ghar, poshamba-poshamba, kho-kho, khol-khol etc. They would make tattoos on each other's arms, legs and other parts of the body.

They would watch MTV Roadies on TV, and would shout ''Chackh De, India''. Chackhs in the language Czech is a very dirty word which means ****.

They would say to each other sweet notings like:
''Humko chhod ke mat jaao saala'', “Tumre bin jee nahin paayenge’’, ''Kab milegi tu?'', ''Rulaaoge kaa?'', ''Holi kab hai, kab hai Holi?”

The would remind each other of the Reshma ki jawani promise by reading to each other the famous quote by Rober Frost by:
The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promise(s) to keep, and miles to go before I sleep.


So, one day Peter and Jack were together in a room chatting. Francis came inside the room eating a banana. A banana is typically eaten in 4 bites (4 bytes).

He has already eaten two when he came inside. Peter and Jack asked for the third and the forth one respectively. Peter said:
''Arey ey Fransicwa, humko tohaar kela chaahi''
Jack said:
''Humko bhi tohaar kela chaahi, sasur ka naati''

Francis ate the third bite in silence. Francis ate the forth bite in silence. He then left the room. Peter and Jack look at each other with utter disbelief. All the words by Robert Frost made no sense now. Reshma’s youth was in danger. Reshma’s youth was her only ornament (aurat ki izzat hi uska gehna hoti hai!).

But it was only two minutes later, that Francis came inside the room with two more bananas, and handed one to each one of them. Things became sentimental. Jazbaat ki barsaat. Soft music was playing in the background. They were brothers again, just like good old times.

Epilogue:
Status in Haryana (Maakhan ka Gaanv): They have settled in India. They like drinking Patiala pegs at ‘Aunty ka theka’. Ghane baawre hain ab teenon jatt.

It is March 2008 now. Reshma is well settled in Bombay. She is 44 now. She is still youthful, like a fresh drop of rain. And whenever she goes to a nightclub, there are more takers for Reshma than for any 18-year old. Reshma ki twacha se uski umra ka pata hi nahin chalta.