Nirma Super

I am feeling nice and fresh. Oops - Nice and Crisp and Warm. Was just wondering, what if we stop the TV advertisements (jingles) to an appropriate point, and leave it there - for the better. For example:-

Shopkeeper : Aaiye-aaiye Deepika ji, aapka sab saamaan taiyaar hai.
Deepika Baby : Yeh nahin woh.
Shopkeeper: Aap toh hamesha woh mehanga waala leti thi.
Deepika Baby: Leti thi...
[snip: lekin jab wahi safedi...]

Or better still,

Shopkeeper : Aaiye-aaiye Deepika ji, aapka sab saamaan (with a wink) taiyaar hai.
[snip]!

Disclaimer: This post borders on the edge of obscenity. I sincerely apologize if I have offended any sentiments.

The Middle Finger

Last week, my friend came home with a swollen middle finger. When asked about the reason, he said he did not know. I don't buy the vague insect-bite theory. Why would the insect choose the middle finger of his right hand, of all places.

So the swelling did not subside for two days and he went to the doctor. A surgery was suggested. While his finger was cut, and bad blood was being removed, he held up his finger and shouted ''M*****..." at the top of his voice. He couldn't have been in so much pain, especially after anesthesia, but I guess it was his idea to use the surgery as a pretext to get back to the cruel world.

Since the surgery yesterday, he has to go to the hospital every 4 hours for an anti-biotic injection. And after each dressing, he is suggested to keep his finger up, lest the blood flows and causes infection. He feels awkward keeping the middle finger up. This amuses me. Had I been in his place, I would have flaunted it.

Anyways, there is one good thing which came out of all this. When his boss asks him to work, he shows him the finger. There is a long deliberate pause before he remarks in a cheeky tone - ''I cannot type''.

The Great Indian Wedding

This is wedding season across India. Six of my close friends are getting married in February. All the weddings are in North India. The result - I cannot attend each wedding traveling from Hyderabad every time. The people who are getting married face lopsided-demand-supply issues while shopping around for goodies such as venue, pundit, caterer etc., bringing them in an inferior bargaining position. I sometimes wonder whether the makers-of-auspicious-occasions do not think about these logistics. How can there be hajaar good days in February and not a single one in March?

The people getting married don't seem to be complaining though. I think it's just suitable weather in North India to get married.

And why are weddings so important in Indian Society (Because it only happens once in a lifetime, typically??)? Why are people expected to travel from one city to another, taking a flight and a train both ways to attend a wedding, where the groom or bride has no time? Why do the groom has to sit on a ''ghodi'' and feel like an asshole? Why do the baraatis have to do ala-chillar dance on the road to express their happiness when they're not even drunk? Why the kids who are getting married don't stand up to the parents and tell them that the auspicious occasion should fall on a weekend (pundits do arrange that) so that the near-and-dear ones can make it? The list of why's is endless, but nobody seems to be doing anything about it.

Weddings come with gifts. One of my friends who recently got married received a lot of flower pots and lamps. Every other gift would be a flower pot or a lamp. One gift was a high-end Creative-Speakers-Set though. It was his favorite. The gift of Magi. He decided to take it and forget about the rest. He carried it to his reception and honeymoon. He brought it back to Hyderabad, and informed all of the weekend music dhamaal with pulsating music from the new speakers. Finally the happy and excited couple opened the Creative-Speakers-Box. And out came a flower pot!! I've seen klpd's and KLPD's. This one will be right up there on the charts.

I will head back home now. Traffic must've subsided. To friends whose weddings I have-missed/will-miss, I wish you two a blissful and happy married life.

Jai Bharat.