Ek Bihari, Ek Haseena

Everyone knows about my love for anything which is remotely Bihari or Bhojpuri. I was revising a Bhojpuri number yesterday which was a fad during my college days. The melodious tune was so intoxicating that I decided to teach it to a girl. Trust me, it’s fun to have a girl sing this song for you.

The lyrics were:

baiyaan chhod do, bhor ho gayi raa balam,
humra laage saram, humra laage saram

which means:

(let go of my hand my love!, its daylight,
I feel so shy, oh I feel so shy.)

After a few practice sessions, all I could out of her bihari-with-english-accent was:

Bhaiya chhod do, bore ho gayi…

(let me go bro, you’re so boring)

I guess I’ll never teach any more Bhojpuri songs.

The Dude

This is a true incident which happened yesterday. I was spending a lazy day at a friends place away from office when my servant called. He informed that the Movers and Packers guy is at home to collect some money. I was supposed to pay 1300 bucks to M&P that had moved Vamsi’s stuff and they had sent their employee to collect the money.

Now I don’t expect these employees (Milkman, Pizza-delivery-guy, Newspaper-bill-waala etc) to stand outside the apartment and wait, but these people are way too humble, and do not mind waiting outside for a minute or two. As a result, by convention, they’re not even invited inside.

But when I reached home, I was surprised to see this guy who had made himself comfortable on the sofa and was chatting up with my servant. He was certainly no ordinary guy employed by M&P. He was the dude. He had droopy eyes, long brown hair – dirty to the extent of being ghastly, and was stinking of alcohol at 2 in the afternoon. The dude was so repulsive that even I felt disgusted.

The first question this dude asked me was ‘Sir, did you have your lunch?’ This came as a surprise. He sounded fascinating, and confident. I replied, ‘Yes I did, and did you have your lunch?’. He said no, and I stopped the conversation there. I knew where he was going, I had no intention to invite him over for lunch.

I paid the money, and he reluctantly returned the change. He was expecting 200 bucks as tip, but to his disappointment, I did not comply. He did not get up to leave, so I called his boss and told him that I have paid up. He still sat there, and I was thinking about the best way to ask him to get out, and never show his frightening face again. As I was planning my next move, he pointed to the bar (booze inside a glass cupboard in the living room) and to my utter dismay, asked, ‘Sir, one peg of scotch?’ There was a humble request in his eyes, which I noticed for the first time.

What happened next was interesting.

Times of India –After 5 years-Court Trial

The court trial between Dance Bars Association of India and Maharashtra Government goes into 29th day

05.09.2013

The case against Dance Bars Association of India took a dramatic turn on Thursday when Sr. Advocate P.K.Ludke, representing the Government of Maharashtra, submitted the 61-page Mckinsey report on ‘Employment of Dance Bar waiters – Concerns and Statistics’.

It read, “Unemployment of former dance waiters does not seen to be an issue anymore, as the thriving night-life and pub-culture in India has presented them with multiple employment opportunities. They’ve found employment at the clubs and discos as bouncers. The not so well-built waiters have been subsequently employed as waiters in the same clubs after being referred by their bouncer friends. The success of this referral scheme can be attributed to the well-networked dance bar industry, which employed over 50,000 bar dancers and 5,000 waiters, before it was closed by the then Deputy Chief Minister of Maharashtra, R.R.Patil in August 2005.

However, problems arise when a former dance-bar customer goes to a club, and starts throwing 10 Rupee bills (known as dud-dus ke note udaana). As a habit, the bouncers and waiters jump immediately and start collecting the bills from the floor. This sometimes leads to the club management firing the staff-members who behave this way. Furthermore, the problem worsens when a friend of the customer, who also happens to be a former-dance bar customer intervenes in order to save his friend from a fuming manager – ‘Gaali waali kya dete ho, isko toh mukke maaro’”

This can be a severe blow to the Dance Bar Association on the 29th day of trial, as they try to get the ban on dance bars lifted after 8 years.

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This concept (five years hence) of such newspaper strips (similar to cartoon strips in newspaper dailies) should be treated as my copyright. Investors interested in the idea are welcome to get in touch with me. :-D

Story Inputs: Chatur