Farewell...with a heavy heart!

A speech which we wrote for my dearest room-mate and IIT wingie-junior Ditch, when he is leaving Hyderabad. He was supposed to deliver the speech to his team today. I am not sad that he is going. For some weird reason, he would wake me up every morning, because he wanted to take a shower in my bathroom. What a pervert!!!

Anyways, here's the speech;
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I am reading this speech because my English is weak. But I am not embarrassed about it, everybody here is sailing in the same boat.

Winston Churchill was a man of few words. He was once made to give a speech on ‘Sex’. He spoke – Ladies and Gentleman, it gives me great pleasure…[long pause]

But unlike Churchill, I will speak a lot more. First of all, I’ll thank you all for coming here. I am glad you found time to join me for lunch. Had it been dinner, I would have had to pay for booze as well. And I don’t even drink.

So, thanks to the entire team for making my stay at Deloitte memorable. Thanks also to my parents who always had a dream that one day their son would work for Deloitte. Back then when I was a kid, we had to wait for a month to get a landline phone connection at our home. The day that bright and shiny phone instrument arrived, I had made my decision - I wanted to work in the TMT department only. And I am glad I got to be a part of such wonderful team. The learning I received would stay with me forever.

Thanks are also due to Silpa Parivaar, who made my stay in Hyderabad rocking! They’re a gang of mad dogs, and I thoroughly enjoyed partying every single day. And not to forget, Rajan Bhai's awesome breakfast and dinner, which kept me going. The nutritious food and high calorie intake turned me into a fat ass and a star performer.

Especial thanks to all the girls who were a part of my team. I was able to explore my true potential while working alongside them, and doing all the donkey’s work for them. My intentions were totally honorable. It’s just that I loved my work so much that I could not have enough of it.

And this speech could not be complete without mentioning my bosses P&N’s name who knew how to get the best out of me. Trust me, I mean it from the ‘heart of my bottom’. I am not sucking up to them. I like ice-cream better.

So, we part to meet again. I wish you all the best and I’m sure our paths will cross soon. Especially with the high attrition rate in the team.

Before I finish, I would want to welcome the new members in the team, and would expect them to take the good work forward. Two lines which come to my mind

‘hum aaye hain toofaan se kashti nikaal ke,
Is desh ko rakhna mere bhaiyon sambhaal ke’

[taaliyon ki gadgadaahat]

And on a slightly cheeky note, last two lines for Uta

Jab thumak thumak ke tum chalti ho oota,
Kasam se kehte hain, tab tab humra dil toota.

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Uta is his team-mate who has recently joined from Germany as an intern in Deloitte.