Coach Fletcher agrees Indian team should play more Cricket

Kolkata: Indian cricket coach Duncan Fletcher has jumped in support of BCCI President N Srinivasan in lashing out at critics who complain about 'too much cricket' being played by the Indian team, and the effect it has on Indian team's performance. Coach Fletcher was speaking at a press conference after Indian ODI victory against England at the Eden Gardens, and praised the team after the 5-0 series whitewash. N.Srinivasan had earlier cited India's unassailable 3-0 lead against England to rubbish the complaint a few days ago.

"The team should play more cricket, which gives opportunities to younger players like Ajinkya Rahane and Varun Aaron to display their talent at the highest level. Look at the 10 test playing nations today, they all played cricket today with 5 ongoing cricket series going on simultaneously. The people across the world want entertainment, and it is our duty as entertainers to keep them happy. We have customers to please." - pointed Fletcher. It may be noted that Fletcher had a massage parlor in Zimbabwe before Hyper-Inflation during the Robert Mugabe regime forced him to look for other career options. The massage parlor business also carried the slogan 'We have customers to please'.

He further added that after people do not want Sehwag to sell cement or Harbhajan to sell Royal Stag whiskey, and the crowd would rather want them to perform on field all year long. "Harbhajan has been dropped because he started drinking too much Royal Stag, which would get worse whenever his girlfriend asked - Have you made it large? This is what happens when you focus too much on endorsing the brands, and it starts having a psychological impact. The advice I give to all younger players is to leave the selling to salesgirls, and focus on the game if they really want to make it large. Don't worry about the money. BCCI can introduce more concepts like the IPL."

When probed by media-persons about special plans on Diwali, particularly after the emphatic series win, he wished the country a very happy Diwali and added that they are planning to hold the celebrations till the only T-20 encounter against England on 29th October, which also happens to be the birthday of Varun Aaron, the pacer from Jharkhand whose full name is Varun Raymond Aaron David Weatherall, but has fondly been rechristened as 'Ra.One' in the Indian dressing room. "We are planning to have a party on Saturday, and Harbhajan Singh has graciously agreed to come down and perform on Chammak Challo" - he remarked. When asked whether there are plans to fly some of the massage girls from Zimbabwe for the party, he refused to comment.

Just another day in WC2011

Zaheer and Dhoni

Overcoming the Delhi Winter

Today, the midnight of 17th of February, I announce the end of Delhi Winter. It's going to be a warm and sunny world cup (during the first innings - thanks to flood lights), the perfect weather for the game.

A lot of sacrifices were made during the last three months, my first winter in Delhi. One dark night, 5 mattresses, 4 rajai's, 4 friends sleeping over at home, 1 thin blanket, and my atithi-devo-bhav jazba taught me the lesson of the winter. Never bite more than you can chew.

As the season turns around and mercury rises from the ashes, two lines that sum up my battle with the cold.

Dilli ki thand-ba,
Fir bhi ghamand-ba.

The best Vada Pav

I have spent the best years of my life in the city of Vada Pav eaters, so it comes as no surprise that I became fond of it. Never really considered it an unhygienic unhealthy street food. I have some friends who are very particular about their Vada Pav, and accept no compromise on the way they like theirs. The place, the size, the amount (and state) of chutney, the color of green chilly - it's all important.

At times, people have compared Vada Pav joints across Bombay and Pune. Which ones are better? I find that argument, and the listing of hot Vada Pav joints in each city, silly. The best Vada Pav does not belong to any city. It is really beyond the demographic barriers.

I started for Bombay from Pune Station in a Shivneri Volvo. Had a small bottle of water and followed it up with a small bottle of Nimbooz. It was too bad that the bus took 90 minutes to cross the city. And trust me, the speed of bus has been found to be inversely proportional to the rate at which the kidneys and bladder function. By the time we hit the expressway, the pressure had built up. I really had to go.

As time went by, it became more and more difficult to survive. The road stretched far and wide, and there seemed no end to the agony. After counting till 1357, during which it came to my mind thrice to ask the driver to pull over, during which I contemplated twice about filling up the Nimbooz bottle once again, and during which I thought about a business with innovative products to help people in such situations on the road, the bus finally stopped at a food mall. And I ran.

I emerged out of the washroom after two minutes, content and satisfied, with the biggest smile on my face. It was time to refuel. Went to the nearest food outlet and asked for a Vada Pav.

Like I said, the best Vada Pav does not belong to any city. It is beyond the demographic barriers of Bombay or Pune. It is really served on the Bombay Pune expressway.

A one night stand

India 136
South Africa 620/4 declared
India 454/8
India trail by 30 runs with 2 wickets remaining at the end of fourth days play.

*Sachin Tendulkar 107
*Sreesanth 3

Can we save it? There is a reason where India follows a multi-God structure. SACHIN God has played HIS part. It's time for RAIN God. Let ths Raveena's and Sridevi's come out and start dancing in low-cut-blouj(with a J)-sarees to please the God.

It rained 12 overs before the scheduled end of fourth days play. SACHIN God forbid, if RAIN God is not with us tomorrow, we must take control in our hands. (pun unintended)

The drainage in India sucks during rains because people eat Manikchand Gutkha, and throw the wrappers all around (not to forget the red stains caused by spitting, but it's not that important tonight).

I urge all Indians in and around Centurian to pack up their bags with Manikchand (or any other gutkha/jarda/khaini) and chew as much tobacco as they can around the stadium. Littering is really bad, and most of us must stand against it. But tonight, let us do it baby!

An old poetry which will be the guiding light to all tobacco warriors:

Aavaa marda, khaava jarda...
thook thook ke college bharda.

Inception - a PAF review

Draws were announced. Christopher Nolan and guys from Warner Brothers and Legendary Pictures were glad to become partners. And why not, Christopher Nolan had done a wonderful job last year with The Dark Knight, bagging the award in all categories.

So the meeting started with Maggi Bonda on the table, and Chris proposed a fantasy, where people would float against gravity. Pete from Warner Bro's would have none of it. He asked Chris why another fantasy again after The Dark Knight, and Chris got furious while trying to explain that TDK was not really a fantasy, but a fiction. They argued on fantasy and fiction for 15 minutes before Jack from Legendary Pictures shut them up, and banned the two F words.

As Jack put things into perspective, the two started a more friendlier discussion. It was a thief story in which Leo steals information and goes into an S-zone(with zero gravity) where no cop could beat him at his own game. Pete agreed on fantasy, but now wanted Chris to go overboard with it. Pete said something like, "Saale is fantasy mein prod aur special effects ka bahut scope hai. Humara prod team achha hai, 3 saal se best prod humko mila hai. Is bar bahut saare prod banaayenge". Chris had a hard time explaining to him that one zero gravity fight is enough, and anything else may be booed if it does not fit in the story. "Junta OAT mein daya-daya kar degi, aur ab toh mobile bhi niklenge. Sarhad bhool gaye, special effects ki maari thi?"

The decision was left to Jack again. Jack knew that judges are unpredictable, and a thought went to Far from Vietnam. This is what he said.
"Abey bakchodi karo, lekin justify karo warna junta maar legi. Special effects aur prod zyaada karna hai toh story ko justify karna padega, alag alag prod rakho lekin alag alag zone ke liye, aur special effects daal denge kyunki har zone mein time alag alag chalaayenge.......chamka? abey dekh, jaise S-zone ke alaawa T-zone, V-zone".


A freshie, oops, junior associate from Warner Bros. interrupted "haan jaise Green Zone, Red Zone, Blue Zone..."

Admist shouts of "Kya fart hai, saala freshie,iski maa &^%$ do, bumps!!", nobody could hear what Chris and Jack were discussing.

Next morning, Chris had a class where the prof was talking about functions within functions. He tried to concentrate hard at the blackboard.It was difficult with the hangover. He had gone to this class only for the second time, dreading an XX. He did not even know the course name properly. But he listened.

End of that day, he went to his room and wrote the DREAM sequence. It was 5 in the morning when he finished writing, and headed straight to Maddu Mess.