Poker - My Way or the 'High'way

Here are some healthy tips to playing Poker.

1. Never close the chips-box. If it gets locked, there are no buy-ins.
2. Never treat poker as eemaan ki ladaayi
3. When you lose a big hand, always compliment your opponent 'Nice Hand' rather than teri maa ki !@#$
4. While playing with lazy people (which is usually the case), it's always advisable to go 'All In' when you have many chips of several denominations. Nobody ever counts.
5. It's always fun to irritate people who 'raise' by saying 'check' instead of 'call' or fold' or 're-raise'. It sounds like bhagwaan ke liye mujhe chodh do.
6. Whenever a bigger denomination chip comes into your chip-account, it can be interchangeably referred to as khushiyon ki bahaar or ghar aayi laxmi.
7. If you often 'fold' during 'pre-flop' or 'flop', nobody missed you at the casino when you are dead.
8. Never underestimate anyone in 'strip-poker' even if he/she is in his/her 'underwear'. Besides, there is always a potential danger that he/she will go 'All In', and you make not like what you see.
9. And finally - Pokers never quit. And quitters never win. Pokers here imply people who poke softer targets with their elbows in crowded buses. Any resemblance to the card-game is purely coincidental.

Ps. This post is dedicated to Anant 'Poker'na - who is the Lalit Modi of Poker is some of the urban areas of India. His contribution to GDP (G for Gurgaon) has been exemplary.